Only 2 weeks to go!

Mini Chad #2 will be here pretty much any day now, I am due on Thanksgiving day but I feel I will more than likely pass my due date. That's totally fine with me because it gives me more time with Maddie and to get things prepared, like umm packing my hospital bag (procrastination much??)

I have so many mixed feelings about being a mom for the second time, everything from the extreme excitement to sadness and guilt for Maddie losing some of my attention. I know the first year will be difficult but this is what we wanted for our family, I wanted Maddie to have a sibling who would be close in age and be a great companion for her. I cant wait for them to share holidays and summer vacations together. I know in my heart they will be close always.
I also have some other fears of what will be in the next week or two, not too many are rational but non the less on my mind. Here they are in order, #1 being my greatest worry..

#10 That our new little girl will have Down Syndrome

#9 I will not have enough attention to share with my girls equally

#8 Maddie will resent me and the baby in the beginning

#7 Maddie will get sick and the hospital wont let her visit her new baby sister

#6 I wont be able to nurse, I pumped for over a year every ounce of milk Maddie ever had, so this is going to be my first nursing experience

#5 Chad and I are going to argue because of the stress of having 2 children, we rarely do at all now.

#4 That the baby will get sick since she is coming in the heart of cold and flu season

#3 That something will go wrong with collecting the cord blood (we are banking the baby's cord blood)

#2 That our little girl will in fact prove that Maddie's hearing loss is genetic and also be hearing impaired

#1 That I wont get to go home WITH her.

Its easy for everyone to say I'm being a "worry wart" or over dramatic in my fears but until you've walked in our shoes you can't even begin to judge them. We are so blessed to have the chance to be parents again and for our daughter to have a sibling, no matter what the outcome :)

Now on to some fall/Halloween 2010 photos. Enjoy!

Step Up for Down Syndrome Walk 2010

There are simply not enough ways to thank EVERYONE who either donated, walked, or both this year in honor of Maddie. We raised around $6,000 and had nearly 300 friends, family and friends of friends who came out to walk for her. I was overcome with emotion when I saw just how large our group was this year, and we won for biggest team again :) I dont share this often because Im honestly ashamed of how I felt then, but I remember worrying the morning we found out she has Down Syndrome that she wouldnt feel the same love and acceptance that the baby girl we were "supposed" to have would feel. I obviously was beyond wrong. She is loved and cherished by people who have only met her once or even people who have only seen her on video or in photos. I cant wait for her to understand the day and know that all those people were there for her. I regret not getting enough photos of everyone with her, Chad and I were running around crazy trying to say hello and thank everyone who came but it always just goes by way too fast! By the end of the day I could barely walk, being 8 1/2 months pregnant did not make it easy this year ;)
Chad and I stressed a little bit about not having enough pink shirts but everyone was very understanding and with our team growing every year we will keep the same style team shirts so next year hopefully everyone will have one.
Maddies first walk,she was 6 months old and we had about 20 people walk with us. Last year she was 18 months old and we had 140 people on her team and raised around $4,000, so you can see how much the word has spread on what a great day it is! I truly hope everyone enjoyed themselves and left with a positive new view on people and children with Down Syndrome. That is really what it is all about. If I could have anything in the world for my daughter it would be that she never experience ignorance or have people underestimate her...I know that is not reality but at least I know that 300 of our friends and family and so many others who were there will think twice about it.